Learning the alegrias, and breaking my nose in the process

I am here to study and learn an Alegrias - the flamenco dance about happiness.

Learning... It can be done in many ways. We are all different. We all learn differently. We all process info differently. We are all unique and GRAND (as they say where I come from).

For those of you who don't already know... I have many different interests (or obsessions depending on how you look at it.) Not only hats have captured my attention and attracted my focus. I have been labeled many things (and am guilty of labeling myself) among them dyslexic, ADD, ADHD, learning disabled, nervous, high strung, emotional... you name it. (I've been called lots of positive things too...I'm just focused on challenges right now - you'll see why if you are interested in this stuff ....and keep reading.
Also for those interested in the learning challenges of dyslexia, add, adhd, autism, and REAL help ... Goggle - Ronald Davis / dyslexia. His book "The Gift Of Dyslexia" written many years ago, and mainly to help teach kids to read in the school system, has changed many lives.

I am fascinated with the human brain, and determined to learn as much as I can about how people interpret their world, and translate that into a life worth living.

I also like to communicate and connect with people... and connect people to other people. That's one of my gifts. Maybe that's why I am a retailer. Can you think of a better way to have an endless (if you are in the right location of course) source of people to communicate with?

Hats are only one way that I communicate
...and I happen to make a living, have fun, feed and support my family and employees (the feed and support part only because of a business partnership with my patient, hardworking and (believe it or not) like-minded in certain ways husband of almost 30 years).

This trip to Spain, and the attempt to live a truly life-long dream has once again brought me face to face with both my gifts, my learning challenges and my limitations. A dramatic and intense reminder that most things in life that are of real and lasting value, are usually a lot of work...and fairly intentional.

A few nights ago, I walked straight into a plate glass window at the entrance to the Theatre. In public. In full view of a crowd of people that if ever I may have wanted to make a cool impression on , they would be it.

My nose is broken... it bled all night. I now sport two black eyes.. ..and wake up every morning with swollen eye sockets.
I didn't see the window because I often don't. Nor mirrors. Nor anything else very much like anybody else does.


The theatre where my mishap occured...


The swelling has gone quite a bit ...and the black is almost all gone


Juan Jose, (who took this picture )is a waiter at the central Tap as place near the Teatro. He now waves , laughs , and yells out "Ola Guapisima!" when I walk by



Now.. think about it. Do any of us see anything the same way? Are any of actually seeing the same thing? - I believe not.

I got lots of caring help from people - they were all great. For those of you who know her, Susan from Victoria was beside me. Heck - to have a gorgeous flamenco dancer as the doctor on hand. HOW PERFECT IS THAT? I couldn't have dreamed up anything better. Also a lady from Germany came out of the crowd with some sort of special nose/packing stuff that stops bleeding. How fortunate... my angel always by my side.

OK those of you who are still with me...I'm sure you've all had some experience (or several) that compares. Which brings me to my main thought about this.

No matter how different we all feel...how alone in our struggles... how stupid, limited, discouraged and overwhelmed... we all share the same essential needs on the inside. However we get there. WHATEVER we have to do... and however hard we have to work to make it happen.

I would also like to share that the next day was GREAT. I had a wonderful class (albeit challenging as usual) It hurt a lot when I did any footwork...and turning was a challenge, because I also had mild whiplash and a headache...
It still hurts when I move my head too fast.

But I surely have a new perspective on things.

Before the incident , I was getting frustrated in class with my problem with learning in front of mirrors. I was focussing too much on the difficulties, and that was taking away from what I actually CAN do. I was worrying too much about what people
thought. People don't think anything. They could care less - because they are just trying to learn themselves! - we are all soooo human and self absorbed)
I was worrying about whether I would remember the choreography , because I want to perform it back in Vancouver... and I want to practice it well...I want to remember her movements (she's so awesome!)

It's almost like I walked straight into the glass window to break through the frustration physically... you know? - out of sheer anger, frustration......and passion. More like an out of control Seguirilla than an Alegria.
I seemed to have walked through a door (or window -so to speak...)

I decided right then and there ... to go to the group classes to just BE there and work. Mirrors and all. Just see what happens if I stop trying to fight it.
Kasandra , Oscar and I have been working on this with me at home for awhile, so I have an army of brains - not just one.
They have been AMAZING in their work with me.
Patient , clear, and have taught me enough that I could come and get so much out of this experience.

I believe the unconscious is a powerful thing. And passion is even a more powerful thing. To be consciously intentional is to put your power and passion n the most productive and positive place.
I decided to ask Maria Jose for privates ...and change my ticket - stay longer until I get this damn alegria choreography!


The next day...
I had to get the courage up to go out at first.
I took myself out to a cafe , dressed quite elegantly, (remember my black suit purchase? - WHAT did I tell you - who KNEW how important it would be to a girl's self esteem?) I ordered really good food that I had FINALLY learned to order...got quite a lot of good humored and gentle attention, once I signed that it was not a punch with a fist that made me look like this ..but walking into a glass door (everybody can relate to that). People are so uncomfortable at first, in case it's something you can't share - I mean really - a woman with black eyes...euwww--yuck!)
I find women on the street are especially upset when they see me...(we could do a whole story on violence towards women ....nobody anywhere in the world likes to talk about that)

Anyway ... now when I go back to the Theatre - I have lot's of people who walk up and talk to me (in Spanish, English, Dutch , German, Hungarian, Japanese...) ask me how my nose is...sincere human kindness has no language barrier.
I am so comfortable there.....
i don't even worry about being late anymore , because the staff all know me..and the night it happened I watched the whole show from inside the doors of the theatre with the staff bringing me fresh towels and ice. I like to watch from the back better now sometimes!

Ok.. THAT"S IT ......maybe I'm here to learn a lot more than just an Alegria choreography.

Alegria.......it means happiness in Spanish. Happiness ...it may not look or feel the way you expected. If you open your eyes...and see in your own way... the Alegria is right there in front of your face. If you ignore what is actually there - REALITY- you may have to break your nose finding it!

I'm sorry folks - the picture of this one had to wait until the swelling went down, and the black faded. My ego seems to be clinging on for dear life - no matter how hard I try and ditch her - she's a stubborn lass, and sometimes quite useful!

Since this experience several days ago....I have become brave and dropped my shyness...I had to. I look pretty beat-up...I don't worry about . I start the morning with a slice of potato on my eyes to bring the swelling down (a trick told to me by a woman who stopped me in the street..and actually gave me a potato from her bag , so I would know what she was talking about... splash some water on my face ...(forget make-up..it just makes me look like a whore (as we say where I come from)
I now meet people all over town. Some speak English....most don't.

My private classes with Maria Jose have been FANTASTIC! She takes me to studios that have only mirror on one wall, and we turn away.
Then she teaches me by singing, using sounds with her tongue (you know - all the sounds and daoo daoo..ta tas that Oscar uses..)
She counts in a way that doesn't make any sense at all counting/wise - which is PERFECT for me -just sounds like singing....

OK , THIS IS LEARNING /PERCEPTUAL STUFF ..for anybody interested in learning challenges...

...she uses her body to teach me when I'm mixed up about body position . She actually places her arms and legs against mine to make me "feel" what I don't SEE.
You see...what is very very cool...is that she pointed out something that I already knew...but it is so good to see a teacher see it sooooo clearly them selves. She showed me with sign language ...that I don't HEAR when I am looking with my eyes...and I don't SEE when I am listening to sounds. They often happen separately.
When learning.....this can be difficult to take information in accurately . It means everything takes longer to process and then integrate....It all has to be taken in separately...and then integrated inside me ...and then repeated to have me "KNOW " it.
Then ...and only then ..can I use flamenco movements and sound to express everything inside through the music and cante.
Then I could REALY dance ....from a deep place...listening from a deeper level as Oscar says.

You see THAT's what happened with the glass door . I was having a really cool conversation with Susan...and basically ..I was REALLY listening, so my eyes were shut off -BANG!
Cool -eh?
Sometimes the most important lessons in life take the longest to GET. ....... if you are an existentialist, you might also say that life is futile ... about learning the same lessons over and over and over again....hmmnnnnn....that's very Seguirilla ...

I have learned so much. I am having soooo much fun........ and I feel like am living a Flamenco life. OLE!